How should we relate to our genes?
Article in three parts.
PART ONE.
Genes as explanation and apology:
The irascible father:
He was indeed a benevolent father, – a person you could talk with. To a certain degree he also opened for negotiations with his son, as long as the son had reasonable arguments. The same father could nevertheless explode like a scud rocket, and give the boy a beating. This was when he believed his little rascal had done something wrong on purpose.
During a Sunday dinner with guests at the table this was exactly what happened. His son had just opened a bottle of lukewarm coke for his cousins, when soda from the bottle splattered on the table. His father immediately jumped up from his chair with a furious glance.
After a long and exhausting race through the house to get hold of his son, a hunt during which the father also got a painting in his head, the drama ended in the kitchen. But this time the established balance of power between the two had changed.
The son reaches for the bread knife.
He stood in the middle of the floor with his father a few meters ahead, with a big knife. Upset, but without screaming, he said that if his father came one step closer, he would run the knife right into his stomach. – And then you’re done, his son added.
The father stood there gaping. It looked like he was paralyzed. The dinner guests had just come hurrying to the kitchen to “their poor nephew’s” rescue. Now they saw the 15 year old boy standing there with a threatening bread knife pointing toward his father.
Their conclusion was clear. – Help, he has inherited his father’s temper! That temperamental gunpowder is surely hereditary. – Our mother has it too, father’s brother exclaimed. Even peaceful great grandfather has this family gene, was their explanation.
The boy’s aunt took the knife from her nephew, and ruffled his hair. – Now you two, she said looking at the somewhat shameful father; – act like civilized, and not savages.
Did the genes suddenly stop working?
Very strange with such family genes, the boy thought for himself a few months later. That they somehow did not work anymore after this incident. For he was no longer beaten by his father – and he also stopped the fights and the beefing among the guys in the street.
For once this story is not taken from the clinic. The son with the soda bottle and bread knife is me! Ever since then it has provoked me when personal qualities and actions are explained with a kind of passive reference to genes. That genes are used as an excuse for parental actions, or the fact that their child does not develop exactly the way they want. That genes are used as an excuse for parents when their children shows aggression or a sensitivity that is considered imperfect or a flaw in an otherwise well-functioning family. I’ve never really believed in this myth! 
Personality and behavior as different forms of survival strategies
Later I studied psychology and found substantial evidence that even intelligence could be taught. This made me believe that we also have had too much faith in the power of genes over our lives.
Then, as a newly qualified Clinical Psychologist,I based my work on the assumption that the human ability to change, under the right circumstances, is large. I thought that even for people with the most difficult disorders, something can be done. Basically a person’s behavior and thought patterns, is mostly about survival strategies for that person, at different levels, in different conditions and relationships.(Waastad 1982) Modifying one of these relations and conditions, will also modify the individual’s psychology and behavior.
Difficult to separate heredity and environment
.Before I started studying psychology I talked to my father about his child rearing methods. I started with his friendliness and genuine care for me especially after my mother’s illness and death. But then I added the provocative question: “Child beating in the service of child rearing, why on earth!?”
The answer I got from him did not go to the core of the question, – the difficult relationship between innate and learned. At that time however I thought so. For when my dad like my uncles, also could tell that his mother had beaten up both him and his brothers, I meant that he had learned it from her.
Later I traveled to that loving grandmother. Yes, she really was nice too. When I discussed the case with her, she was extremely ashamed. She put her hands in front of her mouth and said: – Sorry, sorry. You know, once I was so furious when your uncle, during the war had drunk up all the milk we had, that I bumped that empty pail of milk on his head so he had to be hospitalized to be sewn.
– Guess my embarrassment when the doctor asked how he on earth had managed to hurt himself like that. – I slipped, and fell against the sink, my youngest uncle had replied, looking at her. – We really belong to a violent family, I cried. – Where does this aggression come from, I asked.
She hesitated, fiddling with her napkin.- Well, hm, certainly my father, your great grandfather, he could also explode like that and give us a beating when we had done something wrong. Then grandmother glanced searchingly at me. – You’re known to fight a lot yourself, at least you don’t shy away from a physical confrontation, she said, pointing her finger at me. – Look at all the scars you have on the forehead, and your broken nose!
– I guess I’ve gone to a bad school, I replied. – You get pretty angry by being spanked or beaten by your father, I claimed. She shook her head and said that this was most likely genetically transferred traits in the family.
With powerful protest I placed myself in the opposite position in this old discussion of heredity and environment. A discussion that has been going on since ancient times.
But there, back in my teens with grandma, I had no research to refer too. She in turn, thought she had it, because medical science largely had proven genes decisive influence on personality, and behavior. Moreover, this had also so far she could remember, been the most widespread perception among the population. 
THIS ARTICLE IS CONTINUED IN:
http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/09/genes-environment-2/
Also check: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/26/how-i-was-born-with-you-me-and-the-others/
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