Recenttly, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people celebrated an important anniversary worldwide. Now it’s fifty years since Stonewall ridden against gay men in Manhattan, and the great rebellion that followed. These days also mark the fiftieth anniversary of the foundation of the LGBT organization and worldwide movement.
This is no deep and broad article on the understanding and struggle of gay people’s rights and lives. That may come in a later post. Instead, it is in all simplicity, our spontaneous way of congratulating, all those who deserve our attention and warmth these days. (ed. Psychological Universe.)
What is so wrong with being fond of and feeling love for another person?
Yes, what is so wrong with loving a person of the same-sex as yourself? What is so sinful and apalling about that? When girls and women can be fond of and love boys and men both mentally and physically, why can’t boys and men also like and love other boys and men? When men can be fond of and love women, why can’t women also like and love each other? There is no obvious logic in this.
In earlier days when it was crucial for the family and society to secure their macro structures through the nuclear family’s transfer of power from generation to generation.
Much of the problem with homosexuality must lie on a historically social and ecclesiastical religious level. When it was absolutely crucial that the nuclear family had children who could take care of the older parents. But not only close relatives. Just as important was the transfer of the family’ values and fortune, which then could be passed on for generations.
The more prosperous a family was, the more important it was to transfer the family fortune, with houses and properties, to the next generation. It was largely about preserving power and positions. But also in poor families, the children who were born there, could help provide for the elderly, where there were no welfare benefits such as in many countries in the Western societies today.
Shame, guilt and exclusion as an instrument to curb this kind of love.
Getting a daughter or son who would not marry and have children, was perceived as a life penalty and completely unheard of. And the church that largely guarded the morale could condemn those who did not fulfill this expectation from the families and society.
In addition, the community, and also the country was dependent on getting new workers and taxpayers, and not least young soldiers to defend themselves from outside attacks, or even attack other countries to acquire colonies for the country.
There was one exception from the church’s and society’s condemnation. That was when the young ones choose the convent’s way of life both in celibacy and in sexual renunciation.
A young woman on her way to the monastry, by unknown source.
Shame and guilt, exclusion and punishment awaited gay people if they did not meet the expected social norms related to family duties and the needs of society.
With heavy biblical writings in one hand, and selected quotes to hit the “transgressors” with in the other hand, the whole issue was narrowed down to sexuality. The focus was put on the sexual sin that gay men and women committed by falling in love with people of their own sex.
Politics and Christianity changed the perspective both on words and sexual relations.
- When homosexuality was quietly accepted or tolerated.
According to Michael Castleman in his article on the origin of dirty language in Psychology Today, he says about the filthy words that: “They’re “dirty” not because of sex, but because of political conquest.” I will add Christian tradition.
– Homosexuality was also banned.
When for example Christianity spread in The Ottoman Muslim Empire, covering most of the Middle east, and Northern Africa,-many things were forbidden that from ancient times were accepted in the Muslim countries.
That was the case with homosexuality. If same-sex love between men in the common population , was not exactly encouraged by the Muslim authorities, it was very rarely looked down upon or punished. ** (Later, in some countries where sharia was practiced harshly you had to have four eyewitnesses proving your guiltiness.**
When it comes to female sexuality other than making babies and satisfying the husband, it seems that her sexuality was altogether suppressed in most parts of “the civilzed world”. see: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2018/01/16/fed-sex-just-way-done/)
Map of The Ottoman Empire
But in all the countries that were put under British rule by the British Empire, homosexuality was forbidden and punished.***
Map of the enormous British Empire and its influence on cultural norms, even “people’s emotions like shame and guilt.”(my opinion)
*** (https://libcom.org/history/historical-look-attitudes-homosexuality-islamic-world) http://scroll.in/article/810093/orlando-shooting-its-different-now-but-muslims-have-a-long-history-of-accepting-homosexuality.) See also the article referred to here:
To be truthful about, and front that kind of love.
Worse still, it was for those who”came out” and lived out their longings. The shame and threat of exclusion as well as the guilt they felt were too heavy for many. Over time, a far higher percentage of all gays have killed themselves than heterosexuals.
In some countries today, even the church has changed its attitudes toward gays.
That we now see a change of attitude in many parts of the world is due to both the struggle for general human rights, the homosexuals’ own struggles, and not least that society, with its family forms has changed. This has opened up equal-sex marriages even blessed by the church. It has at least been the case in several Norwegian and Scandinavian churches, that men get married with men and likewise women with women, under the roof of God, and with hymn singing and organ noise. In Berlin even a Mosque lead by a Muslim woman has opened its doors for gay people and transpersons, where men and women can pray together in the same hall.
You don’t choose to be gay and can reconsider your choice when you want!
This is not the day for a psychological analysis of the causes of the prevalence of homosexuality. Here are many theories. But that it is a conscious choice to be gay, as some believe it to be, is contrary to what I have experienced with patients and friends. It is not like when you decide to study a particular subject at the University.
But the so-called “coming out of the closet” and start making your dream come true, is of course, most often a conscious choice.
Strong and genuine feelings.
Homosexuality is usually always about real feelings, longings and desires. Such sentiments go much deeper than the will. (I will return to this comprehensive topic in a later article this summer.)
Finally, I would like to say: Congratulations to all LGBT people with their restored dignity, respect and recognition, at least in Norway and Scandinavia, and most countries in Europe, the US and Australia as well as New Zealand. My hope is that this acclaimed attitude is also spreading to the countries of the world who are not as open, but still condemn and pursue gays.
Then I congratulate all the rest of us, who can live in this rich diversity. As I have said many times before – “All families should have a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person in their midst. Both for the sake of testing their real values and tolerance, and not least, to experience the joy of not only having hetero-normative A4 people around them. ”
More important than who we love and love is that we are able to love someone at all. At best, someone we can love, honor and take care of throughout their lives! Our wise King Harald V, in his speech to the multicultural Norway, said three years ago: “Norwegians are singles, divorced, and families with children, and old married couples. Norwegians are girls who love girls, boys who love boys, and girls and boys who love each other. “(The King’s tolerant attitude toward the diversity of his people seems very clear,)
