How to avoid exclusion and the price of degradation, – future extremism, violence, murder, mass murder and terror

(OBS: if you have read the last post “What has happened to my America?, you can jump right down to where the flag survey ends) http://www.selvuniverset.com/2019/08/06/whats-happening-to-my-america/

“!Now it has happened again, and we hear about it almost every week! A man has gone crazy with semi-automatic rifle and killed at least 4 people. Often there are many more people killed. It’s called mass shootings. This time it was in El Paso, Texas, and in Dayton, Ohio. A total of 30 killed and many injured, even more mentally traumatized by near-death experiences in both places.

Mass killings and terror have many causes. Both familial, social, and societal. It may not be a coincidence that mass shootings have increased significantly since Trump became president. According to the Class Fight 6.8-2019, there has been an increase in racially motivated hate crime in the US by 18% from 2016 to 2017. Similarly, the increase in religiously motivated hate crime for the same time period has increased by 23%. There has been a 48% increase in anti-Semitic attacks at the same time. And when it comes to sexual orientation, gender identity, there has been an 18 percent increase in hate-related attacks

Especially frightening is that the increase in hate crime in counties where Trump had election campaign events in 2016, increased by 226%! (Uleberg and Shanmugaratnam, 6.8 2019)

Nearly 15,000 people were killed with firearms in the United States in 2018, a survey from the Gun Violence Archive shows. So far in 2019, the figure is just over 8,730. (Aug 6, 2019)

Mass shootings worldwide in 2019:

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Manifestos as driving wheels into hate crime.

The young El Paso gunman that recently killed 20 innocent people, – mostly young pupils buying school material, had beforehand been writing a kind of manifesto. Also Brenton Tarrant the Christchurch mass murderer had been inspired by a Manifesto from the Norwegian bomber and mass shooter Behring Breivik. It’s obvious that such publications spread on the internet, can tear down the last barries against such atrocities toward mankind.

Originally I wanted right away to write down an “Alternative Manifesto for Man”. This I wanted by asserting that not only right-wing extremists, ultra-Orthodox believers and political activists could claim monopoly on such ideological calls. But before trying to do anything like that, we need to look at what a so-called manifesto entails.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights

Since United Nations Manifesto “The Universal Declaration of Human Rights”, mostly extremists seem to have written manifestos. Then it’s time to write a suggestion for “A Manifesto for Man”, to prove that it is not only the right extremists and political activists who can invoke the monopoly of such ideological calls.

What is a manifesto?

The term Manifesto means an investigation of the basis of an ideology, a view of society or a perception of reality. A Manifesto also contains what I would call a view of man, ie a perception of what characterizes a human being and it’s rights in the society and world. Here we have the positive humanistic manifestos of freedom, equality and brotherhood. Today however we are looking into the negative and dangerous manifestos and their function and effects.

1. Dehumanization

These negative and dangerous Manifestos, instead of uniting people and cultures they split them in good or bad groups. They divide humanity into different kinds of people – in the pure and the unclean, the believing and the disbelieving , or apostate Muslims or Christians, decent people or just beasts and cockroaches. They also divide us in friends and supporters, or so-called enemies of or threats to our society and the nation’s culture.

2. Legitimation of deadly attacks.

The authors who write down these ideologies always believe they eventually belong to the right group of people.They have the right religion, and with the desired and necessary action strategies needed to remove the threats from the wrong ones and the impure others. Thus, the most dangerous types of manifestations can incite their readers to commit horrific acts of violence: “The purpose of manifests can be to explain and legitimize terrorist acts, as well as to inspire others!” (check 3. below)This says Ingeborg Kjos. In 2013, she wrote a widely discussed master’s thesis in political science about the Norwegian mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik’s manifesto. (ref. Ertesvåg and Fjellanger VG 16.2, 2019)

3. Inspiring others in a community of outcasts.

Such manifestos have beside the mission of justifying the necessity of excluding, bullying, using violence against, killing or eradicating whole groups of people, another important purpose. To inspire others! To give the lonely outcasts a feeling of belonging to a group of like-minded persons. A sense of eventually belonging to some sort of group or community. The sinister background of this group affiliation is the over mentioned justification of atrocities, and not the least full blown conspiracy theories about people, cultures and certain types of religion.

4. Lethal effects

It was precisely the content of this manifesto that inspired the latest horrific terrorist action the world has seen. Last Friday, March 15, 2019, Brenton Tarrant took a machine gun with him and shoot 49 adults and children in Christchurch, New Zealand. In addition, he injures 44 people, both children and adults. 12 of them are critically injured. (NRK TV News, 16.02)

Then I ask myself: Wouldn’t it be possible to do the opposite; – write an inclusive and human-friendly manifesto based on facts, and not just delusions. That’s what I want to give a try now. At the same time, I am completely aware of that we must understand the dynamics and consequences of the human-hostile manifestos, and above all why they arise. We must not allow ourselves be naive here.

Before that, the terrorist has written a long manifesto about Muslims and non-Europeans as the sewage of the community. His main inspiration was, as said, the manifesto of the Norwegian mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik, who shot and killed 69 teens from the Labour Party Youth organization, and injured 66, on their summer camp on Utøya in Norway. An hour earlier, this young man had broken the government building with the prime minister’s office and killed 8 people in or on the way out of the building.

We are Nature’s most advanced creatures!

We are born neither good nor evil. How we turn out to be, depends of how we are welcomed to the earth and how we are treated here.

We are born neither good nor evil, but with an inborn drive to survive, no matter under what conditions.

Human beings are as far as we know, nature’s most advanced creatures. We are born neither good nor evil, but formed in both emotions, thoughts and actions by our surroundings. Concepts such as kind or naughty, good or evil do not belong here at the beginning. But we are accustomed to putting labels on each other, even our children, even though it’s a very risky business to put negative labels on children’s behaviors. We need to know that behavior and acts are a response to the child’s immediate bodily conditions, and its overall living conditions, both inside and outside the family.

The short Manifesto of 2019

We adapt and try to fit in.

As humans, we are born with a unique ability to adapt to our surroundings, whether good or bad, or both, or something in between. Infant parents probably experience the first time that instead they are the ones who need to adapt to the child. This is of course the case with newborns. But from the very first breath, the child is also prepared to interact with the environment. It seeks out for eye contact with the mother, when it’s attentively awake. And It seeks her breast for nutrition. Admittedly, the child’s action repertoire is simple. Deep sleep, light sleep, crying, wakefulness, and alertness are the most central states of mind.

Survival and self-preservation

We humans are also born with a unique ability for survival and self-preservation. In the beginning, this happens in relation to the surroundings that our parents have created around us. It happens through the child’s simple feelings and associated expressions of desire or pain, pleasure or discomfort. The ability to respond with crying, stiffness, turning away, or reaching out for mother or father, are important signals to the child’s closest caregivers.

Bodily reactions and primary emotions.

The reactions that result from the child’s primary emotions are there to ensure that the child receives an appropriate response to the condition under which he or she is living:
Gradually, we develop a whole emotional register like that of happiness vs. sorrow, anger vs. joy, surprise, fear and anxiety, as well as guilt and shame, that are some of our most important emotional indicators. At the same time, these experiences give equally important messages to our surroundings. If our parents do not respond to them with attention and care, it’s regular neglect.

The child sees itself in the mirror of it’s parents

The child adapts to the way it’s parents mirror her or him. Parents and adults interprets the child’s behavior and reactions and give them names. The way you and I become mirrored is absolutely crucial for whether we feel good enough, feel that we are loved, have value for others, and have the experience of being positively incorporated into the community.

If we are mirrored negatively as children, or experience little interest from self-absorbed parents, we can lose self-respect, feel lonely, unwanted and worthless.

Falling outside the group.

Neglect and negative mirroring are certain forms violation of our person, of our selves! Then we are also in danger of falling outside.

Expulsion from the group of friend breeds anger and rage.

Exclusion, isolation and beeing bullied, can easily lead to anger outbursts, where the underlying purpose is to restore self-respect and dignity. In class and by peers, and in unacceptable family cultures, this may make the ejection and stamping even worse. As we become teens, bullying and exclusion can continue at highschool, increasing our minds from constructive self-assertion to destructive rage.

Religion and violence

An irreconcilable image of God extremism often linked.

The question of godly faith and religious beliefs is relevant to everyone, whether they are believers or non-believers – whether they be Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hinduists or Jews, etc. We have seen that religion plays a significant role in terror linked to Western right extremism, and orthodox and radical Islamism. It is important to remember that everyone in the course of self-development forms an image of God, whether they believe in God, or do not believe in God.

In the book “Psychology and Religion”, Rizutto claims that our relationship with God is formed in the meeting points between A: our inner image of God, B: Our relationships with our parents and our associated inner image of them, and C: Our relationship with ourselves and our self-image.

How to understand why Belief in God can vary from all embracing love to fear and hate.

Argentine psychologist Anna Maria Rizutto (1994) shares our relationship with God in three main categories. 1: How we perceive this phenomenon when we are mature enough to reflect and think consciously. 2: What unconscious experiences and images that are hidden under our more reflective relationship with the concept of God. 3. How the unconscious notions are formed in the subconscious. It is this last phenomenon that is particularly interesting in understanding religious violence and terror:

A person’s realtion to God, most often mirrors the individual’s relation to parents.

Therefore, a person’s idea of ​​an all-encompassing loving God may be in strong contrast to, and in sharp conflict with an unconscious, strictly punishing, implacable deity. Which seems to be a reminiscent of our relationship with a violent and strict father figure, and our underlying guilt and shame for who we are. Both too strict and overly elusive and loose upbringing create frustration and anger in the child.

We are born social and need to belong to a group

People are like the horses, -we need the group to feel safe and sound. We need to feel included and appreciated in the pack. Being recognized and accepted in the group or the herd is at the heart healthy state of mind. The opposite is the origin of loneliness, contempt for the herd, underlying rage and mental imbalance. It can also lead to a search for explanations as to why I am so.

The price of being excluded from the group

Here the road is open to conspiracy theories. This is where a single man can go crazy with a rifle and shoot wildly around him. It is here that such beliefs as that of a particular religion or group of people with certain similarities, are the origin of my misfortune. This is where I can find interest in fellowship with many others who feel banned, abandoned and excluded from society. It is also here online that I find others like me, who carry a rage that is just waiting to get an address and a targeted but often deadly expression. Here we can stir each other up as meaningful in a new herd, where we finally feel valued and included.

Our tasks as parents and adults are:

1. As parents, we should know that our presence towards the child or our children is crucial to their destiny later in life. The quality of the way we meet the child can determine whether we get a socially safe, happy, and loving youth, with a lot of positive life energy, or a socially insecure, outrageous, anxious, and secluded, even unloving, youth.

2. In general, we must try to be attentive to all children we come into contact with. Even deal with families where we suspect their child is severely afflicted or showing signs of being abused. This can also involve sending concern messages to child welfare and police if the condition seems very serious.

3. As kindergarten employees and teachers at all school levels, we must take action if we see that children are teased and bullied. That is our responsibility. Systematic bullying leads to major psychological injuries, and extensive personal and social costs. Remember that many children do not tell the adults at home that they are having a pain at school. Because they are ashamed and feel there must be something wrong with them since they have been notch chickens.

4. It is important to set limits for children, but in a respectful manner. We must accept and acknowledge the child’s urge to unfold, including where this occurs at the expense of others. But we have to cut down on the act of injury, not the child itself. Keep in mind that children test out limits, far up to adulthood, to what is accepted and lawful and what is not.

5. Basic recognition and respect for the human child is essential for the child’s self-esteem and self-confidence and for the child to be able to recognize and respect others as well.

6. As adults, we must read the child’s signals, interpret them and communicate back to the child that we are trying to understand what is happening. We also need to teach the child to know their feelings, name them, and talk to them adults. In children, reactions in the abdominal region, ie murring or stomach ache, are often a bodily reaction to something threatening. Then it’s important that we put our child on our lap, and start wondering about what might have caused him or her stomach pain this very day.

7. Right from infancy and until well into puberty, body contact is important. The skin is the infant’s very first boundary to the outside world and the body’s self-centered core. In the early days outside mother’s womb, skin contact is fundamental to the infant’s safety and well-being. Evn infants will report if the body contact, against presumption is too tight or overwhelming. Then the child usually leans forward or turns away making sounds that most of all reminds you of crying.

8. As the child gets older, it is important that it learns to contribute to the community at home. That it gets simple tasks it can handle and master, as it gets extra good self-esteem and the sense of belonging to contribute.

9. As adults, we must avoid talking derogatory about other groups and cultures. Keep in mind that your child takes on your values and attitudes as an adult it looks up to. You are the child’s wizard into the world.

10. If you feel that this is too difficult for you to do, because you have not been treated like children yourself, seek help and counseling if you absolutely want children. Having one who listens to your own childhood experiences of openness, and recognition, can make the difference between becoming a poor and dissatisfied parent, and on the other hand, a pretty happy parent who feels good enough.

NB: Remember we are never perfect in this game of parenting, and children are different in temperament and intensity. But as much as you are a wizard for your child, your child also shows the way you need to go to reach the child’s heart.

Finally, a reminder rule:

“What we do to our children today, makes the world of tomorrow.”

Therefore : Always Treat children with great respect and care.

Don’t you ever say, – that’s none of my business, – because it is!  And deep in your mind and heart you know!

“Let everyone bow in respect of God’s or Nature’s amazing creation.

No gun or bomb should ever threaten the child’s birthplace and family.

The human child is every other child’s brother or sister, every other man or woman’s own child.

The baby and child is every commander in chief, general and warrior’s own son and daughter.

Give him or her your full recognition. And support the parents to give their best into loving and caring for this child of the Universe.

Secure the child’s economy and education until it can provide for itself!

As humans, we are all, of the same flesh and blood. (janeriwaa 2016)

The feeling of being more or less constantly sad.

Ok let’s say you read this because that’s exactly how you feel right now. You are in fact sad, down, tired, and feeling sluggish and heavy in both mind and body. In addition, you don’t feel satisfied with yourself. Not in any way, so to say. Sometimes however, you feel that you are better than others, but this mixed feeling does not last long. Heavy thoughts, low self-esteem and constant self-criticism have become part of your inner conversation with yourself.

Teens are no exception when it comes to sadness and depression. (from: www.sun-sentinel.com.)

The dark cloud over your head

This feeling is not because you are sick or ill or have had an accident recently, or just lost someone you love. It’s a more permanent and recurrent state of mind that somwhat haunts you like a dark cloud in a sunlit landscape. (you can also read this in connection with depression: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2017/07/30/feeling-alone-world-wanting-abandon-life/)

The dark cloud following you. (by: Boise Daily Photo)

Some may call you dark in mind and deplete. Professionals may say you’ve got a depression. Others like me, might say you seem rather sad, that you are in some sort of grief or melancholy, dissatisfied with yourself and many parts of your life. Yes, sometimes you get angry with others because they seem so happy. Friends try to cheer you up and point out everything you should be happy with, in your life. Their intensions may be good, but for you it only makes things worse.

Everyone seem to smile and try to cheer you up. Many reminds you of how glad you should be for everything. (pic. 1. Shutterstock. pic. 2. from unknown source.)

Sometimes you get angry and mad without daring to show it.

Well, of course you could have said: “Try to be me just one day, and you’ll know! But you don’t manage to be mad either. Or you don’t have enough energy, or don’t dare to lose those few, who after all call themselves your friends. But basically, far down there, you’re really quite pissed off, somewhat envious of their seemingly good lives. As for your own life, it seems to go from bad to worse. Ok, then admit this fact: You’re very very sad and tired of everything. Call it depression or whatever. It’s a fucking hell for you to go through this, excuse me for swearing. That’s your emotional ground zero and baseline. But I tell you that this is not altogether you. It’s only a state of mind, and it can be altered even if it means hard work!

Then I also say the following: In time for a little experiment of mind. Try just for once to be a bit playful and imaginative with me:

Using our imagination can be a road into our deepest energy source . If you need some relaxation exercise and energy booster check: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2018/04/09/follow-me-out-on-the-cliff/

Imagine that you are basically an undiscovered being, an undiscovered person. That your inner core or self, as early as from childhood on, has not been valued as it should. There may be several reasons for that, but those reasons are not in you. They have been outside of you, and outside your control, even if you don’t think so. (Check  psychological development on:) http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/26/how-i-was-born-with-you-me-and-the-others/)

Basically this is not your fault, but as a grown up you have to take responsibility for your life.

Well, you may have been mad and pissed off even a pain in the ass for some later in life, even though I hardly believe so. But that’s just as it may be. First and foremost, it’s your gloomy mind and mood that hardly manage to create a party atmosphere when you’re with others.

Or maybe you just make others believe you’re ok and happy,  that everything’s ok. You even puts on a smile like some superficial mask, covering the sorrow you feel underneath. Unfortunately this attitude makes you feel even more miserable, and lonely. But I understand why you do it, I think. You won’t be a burden.

Sometimes if you drink you happen to act out some rage that makes you feel even more miserable, the day after. (Illustration from a Hollywood movie)

Let’s rewind the tape. and go back to start!

Now let’s go back to the pictures or movie I want you to see before your closed eyes. The fact that you are small, in your early childhood, and that your next door neighbours are two very nice people who really see you.

The couple that took care of you with all their compassion and love, when others were not available.( illustration from Pinterest)

Such people don’t exist you might object. – Yes, they do! And they light up whenever they see you.

They invite you to buns and cocoa or soda. They put you on their lap and read for you, and both the lady and the husband say they’d just wanted such a child like you, but never got the chance to have one. You have never before heard things like that in your own home.

They can’t get enough of you. They just love you unconditionally. (Illustration from unknown source.)

Your parents are so busy with their own issues, or Dad has left you or died, and mom is probably sick or depressed, or your parents are arguing, and neither has any surplus energy to show love and affection, at least not when you really need it.

Perhaps you are from another culture and feel very lonely, far away from grandparents uncles and aunts. Or, your family is so strict that you’re not allowed to do the stuff other kids may do.

If you are from another culture and are separated from them because of war and conflict, that makes your loneliness even more understandable. ( Lahore Photo)

The couple that loves you so much, gives you every good reason to start loving yourself too.

For that reason you visit them every day. And every day you get to know something nice about yourself, whether it’s just because you are the one you are, or it’s smaller things you manage to do, make, draw or build and show to them.  I will recommend this article on how you become what you are for better and worse: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/31/i-am-like-an-unfinished-novel/

The very nice man reads for you before bedtime. (from: Choice Network)

One day they ask your mother if you can stay overnight with them. Let’s say it’s okay with your parents. And that very night, you’ve never had a better time or have felt better. They hug and kiss you on your cheek and on the forehead, when you are going to bed. They even say nighty-night to your cuddle animal.

Day by day you get a reson to broaden your smile in this version of your life.( illustration photo: Adoption network)

They discover your true self, and love it!

The next day you go on a walk in the woods. After half an hour’s walk you arrive at a very beautiful lake. The man and the lady pick up a food box and thermos from the rucksack, and even a soda for you. You want to swim before you eat, and the man blows up a bathing duck that you can wear so you do not sink.

“It looks so fun swimming in the water, they shout to you. “My, oh my how good you are swimming around with that duck. Eventually, they must go and get you out of the water to prevent you from being cold. Then they stand down at the water’s edge with a big beautiful towel, as they rub you warm and dry.

When you come to a beautiful lake in the woods, you are  allowed to swim. (illustr. photo: lake hellorf.com)

The days become weeks and the years go by, as you continue to see them almost every day. At the same time,  a deep sense of joy and self-confidence seems to grow within you. You are doing well at the kindergarten, and soon you get many friends.

Also at school, you’re doing well. The teachers are very happy with you, and they say this to the lady and the man you’ve been so fond of. Because your mother and father are not able to follow up all then things they should, the man and the lady help with such meetings in kindergarten and at school.

They feel so proud of you, and happy.(illustr. from: Heaven’s Family)

Your caretakers tell your parents about all you have achieved and how nice you are.

The couple tells about your nice person and success at school to your mom and perhaps dad, if he’s home. Then it looks as if they also light up when they hear about it.  “Your son or daughter, is the most wonderful, beautiful and nicest child we know in the neighbourhood,” they say.

And you’ve never doubted them or lost confidence in them, because they’ve never hurt you, or done anything cruel to you or illegal. They have just opened their hearts to you and let the love flow over you like a vitamin drink.

The man has taught you how to ski, to scooter and drive the car before you go to a driving school to get the licence. Since he has more money at hand than you and your parents, he spends his money on your driving hours.

The you got your driver’s license. (photos from: 1. A driving school in Manchester, 2: Elite Driving School)

When you finally get the driver’s licence, the couple often let you borrow their car. You also drive them back and forth to places they need to go to. And never have they said a negative word about your mother or father.

When you got your sweetheart.

They have just listened to you and supported you when you’ve been sad because Mom and Dad were not able to give you of their own love. Even when you were upset about your parents complaining that you were never home, the couple comforted you without blaming mom and dad. The day you get a sweetheart, boy or girlfriend, the man and his wife, seem to be ever as happy for it and proud of it as you are.

                                         (Illustr. Photo from: Wattpad)

Before you and your sweetheart take the car to the couple’s cabin in the mountains or by the sea, you embrace them in turn, saying, “I love you so much, I really love you! You are the best thing that happened before I got this girlfriend, you tell them. – “And you’re the best that ever happened to us since we joined the neighbourhood.    – Now off you go, they say! Don’t let she or he be waiting too long for you!”

You embrace your bonus mom and dad before driving to the cabin with your sweetheart.( Illustr. only. photo from shutterstock)

You’ve never felt better!

As you run down the stairs  to the car with  their car keys, you feel happier than ever.. Life is not on hold any longer. Life is now! Cause somebody have discovered who you are, and loved you for it. And that very love always stays inside of you like a hot summer breeze.

“This place is so beautiful she says. I am so happy we went here.” ( illustr. from TYPES-FRANCHISES.COM)

Try to identify with that boy or girl growing up. Make your own pictures that gives the best match for you.

Now in the end of this movie, try to identify with that boy or girl. Try to think it was you. Because it is, or at least could be! That’s how you as a person can build up resistance to tackle hard days. It is this care, thought and love that opens the best parts of your gene material!

No one is born depressed or has it in their genes.

It is the encounter with an unfriendly and insensitive world, a place where you are not discovered and loved as you are, that creates depression. Check: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/06/genetics-and-environment/

But this condition does not need to prevail if you know your history or the history of your family. If you stop hating yourself and stop only focusing on what you cannot do, this very day will already be a little brighter.

If you understand why you’ve been so sad, it’s also useful. The day you can embrace the girl or the boy inside of you. The boy or girl who was never discovered and properly loved by the persons closest to them, – a milestone is reached. The day you can say to yourself; “I’m so fond of you, no matter why” That day everything starts to turn out for the better!  I you want to know more about self-love in: http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/11/12/self-love-sickening-healthy/

Embracing yourself is more difficult than you might think, and has nothing to do with selfishness.(illustration photos from “alamy stock” photo)

Start now, even if you think it’s crazy and you do not deserve it. And do not forget to see before you the nice and wise neighbours that opens their faces and arms whenever they see you. It won’t protect you from life, where being sad and sorry, even crying  is a natural part of being alive. But it will protect you from hating yourself and criticising you undeservedly when bad things happen.

NB .Sometimes in life we ​​all need someone to talk to and to confide in. A person who does not gossip or tell this to others without your permission. This can be a non-professional person, a councellor, priest or psychologist. A wise person that understands life both for young people and older ones. But most important of all, that this woman or man understands you!

http://www.selvuniverset.com/2016/07/25/how-do-i-become-me/

Music for the sad, depressed, and underlying angry men and women.

Here are some music that may inspire you to start getting out of the sadness that hangs over you like a dark cloud. 1. The first one may be suitable for both  men and women alike: 2. The second one by Katy Perry has inspired many girls and women, even men, who have felt  oppressed and have a depression with much anger. 3. The last music is classical, and try through many different composers to identify musically with the sadness, sorrow and depression one can feel in this world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBcLUnzZiOA