Caught in a Frame

This article is about frames. The frameworks that mold us into what we are.  The frameworks that makes us  think as we do, and also act as we usually do.

It has long been a question of giving children the right framework for development, the right framework for learning, and framework for the upbringing.

We seldom choose the frames that surrounds us, as you can in this shop

Women’s struggle for independence and equal rights, has long been a question of giving the women a better framework for education, career and independent economics. In school planning and education, there’s much talk about framework plans, and in governmental politics there’s always talking about the tight financial framework at hand. In this article however, I will primarily focus on frames and frameworks that imprison us.

  Is this how you want to be seen, or how they want to see you?

Recently, it has literally been talked much about replacing some of the heavy, old frames around Munch’s paintings, with simpler and more modern frameworks.  This as the saying goes, to lift famous Edvard Munch’s paintings into a new era. What does this say about our understanding of the term framework?

Conservators at the Munch Museum, Oslo, checking the frame of one Edvard Munch’s Madonna  paintings.

Frame 1: The fishes in the  bowl.

When I started my studies back in 1975, there was a story about some fish swimming around in a small aquarium. From the time when they were hatched as fry until grown ups, they swam around and around in this little pool. When they eventually reached maturity, they were offered an opening into a much larger and more beautiful aquarium.

Around and around they swam and ate, and swam and ate…..

But instead of piling out through the new opening, and really enjoy the amble space for swimming, they chose to stay where they were. In other words, they continued to swim around and around, in the little and rather narrow “fishbowl” as before.

In another variant of the experiment, the fish were released in the big aquarium all together. Then, to the great wonder of the researchers, they continued to swim around and around in a small corner of the pool.

Frame 2: The poor couple that eventually realized their dream.

I also heard a touching story about the originally very poor couple from southern Norway, who in the middle of the war went to America to build up economically. They took service in a richman’s home in New York, – she as a housekeeper and he as a janitor and gardener. Here they both worked, and lived in a tiny flat in a small part of the basement of this huge house north of Manhattan.

    In a classy house like this they worked and worked for thirty years, and lived in a small room in the basement. 

After thirty years in the United States and quite a few dollars in savings, they traveled back to Norway and built a large beautiful villa with panoramic sea views. To earn a little extra, they also built an apartment in the basement of their newly built house.

Then the great day of the move into this dream house, came. A house they had worked for and saved money for, for over thirty years, – on the other side of the sea that they now had such a nice view of.

Instead of moving into the main house with large living rooms and bedrooms, kitchen, dishes, two well-appointed bathrooms and a huge porch, they moved into the small cellar apartment and rented out the main house. And so this married couple lived the rest of their lives.

The house of their dreams, overlooking the sea

Perhaps this is the story of frameworks in a nutshell? That, when we are first caught up inside them, they are difficult to get out of?

Frame 3: Conformity pressure.

The well-known experiment of social psychologist Salomon Asch from 1951,  is also about the effect of frameworks. Briefly, the subject finds himself in a room along with seven other “subjects”. These other seven are instructed by the investigator to influence the subject. They do so both by their physical majority and their assessments.

The task of the subject student is quite simple. He shall compare lines drawn on two cardboards, and find the line that matches on both cardboards. On the first cardboard there are three lines of different lengths. On the other plan, it’s just one line. This line, however, matches in length one of the three lines on the first cardboard.

 

The Asch Experiment.

Everyone can really see which line this is. Nevertheless, one third of the subjects choose the wrong line, – if put under pressure from the group.
Each of the total 50 male subjects receives 18 such tasks. In 6 of the tasks, the 7 others in the group give the correct answer to the length of the line. In the 12 remaining tasks, they are deliberately wrong.

Result: Nearly one third of the subjects followed the group and selected wrong on all 12 assignments. 75% of the group responded wrong, at least once, to the twelve.

Why did the many students comply to the majority, even when it apparently failed the task.

Why did they do that?  The subjects admit that they guessed their answers were wrong, but that they would not stand out from the group. Many of the students also replied that they began to doubt their own judgment, because they believed that so many people could not be wrong.    Peer pressure.

What about questions that there are no such obvious answers to?

Political positions, socio-cultural views, views on asylum and immigration policy? Religion. Distribution politics, and tax issues? In such questions, how are we affected by the framework of people we are surrounded with? What about the impact of our circle of friends, colleagues at work, as well as our neighborhood?

Are we caught in our frames because of ignorance of their existence?

Is it possible for us to think indepedently, think by ourselves, without giving in to the opinions and thoughts of others? Is it possible to have an independent perception of ourselves and the world around us, without a frame of reference?

   Is this possible?

What if this framework we live in is too tight for us and too cramped for those around us? What if this frame is simply misplaced? That we keep swimming around and around in a small fish bowl, with too little fresh water, just like the fish I told about in the introduction?

What has this frame done to him?

What if most of us, despite newly acquired knowledge and inherent intellectual power, only use a small bubble of this our potential psychological universe? What if we continue to live downstairs to those who think what we shall think, and tell us what we need to do, – just to keep us as conformal slaves in the basement of their own flashy buildings?

Dangerous frameworks

I have met many people who have grown up with parents with strong psychopathic features in the way they are. This is often a hell for the children, and not least the spouse. Unfortunately, these children often associate later as adults, also to partners who gradually behave narcissistic and destructive. That is, they fall in love with seemingly fascinating partners.

But when they have established a family life, or encounter resistance, another page pops up. The perverse, offended, revengeful and controlling side of their personality. A side that does not tolerate adversity, and looks very similar to the former parent figure.

 Very little chances to see the opening out of this frame.

If we knew about our frames and could see past them, we would also be able to change our lives.

It may seem that we humans develop our personality and our self-understanding within the family framework we are put in as children. We take this frame with us as the snail with its snailhouse, without seeing and realizing that we do so. In other words, we are mostly unconscious of our frameworks.

Here you can see the opening, but will you dare to escape through it?

In my viewpoint, psychological therapy need to deal with the framework you’re caught inside.  The process need to help you to experience and visualize this frame. Help you to understanding what the frame has been doing to you.  And to make it possible for you to either accept it and choose it, or to get out of it! The last solution, often by needing to break it to pieces, to manage to escape from it.

   To crash a mirror and destroy the frame.

Or we can stop protecting ourselves and listen to our sweetheart or partner, when they tell us how they experience us. Some of it might actually be right, and something to learn from.  If we don’t address our frames and frameworks, at the best we might end up like the fishes in the fishbowl.

 

Out of Reach

Easter Vacation

If you want to quit the city and brutal world for some days, join us in the Mountain. It’s just a way to get closer to baseline. To empty the heavy burden of modern life, to get a pause from the medial world and  shocking news. To eventually breathe in fresh  air, and to reload your batteries.

It’s OK to greet the mountains with a nod

Effort and  Releaf

When you arrive after many hours driving,its quite a challenge to transport the luggage, food, drinks, books from the parking lot to the cabin. This time day temperature was high and snow so soft that you sank deep into it every other step, even with skis and snow shoes on!

After two hours and totally exhausted, you enter the cabin rather relieved and happy. And after a rich meal with some wine , you normally sleep for hours.

Morning has broken

Now you have to get the table ready for breakfast.

In the morning you go to a small shed with logs of dry wood, and you saw and axe them into pieces that fit the oven in the kitchen. Soon there will be fire inside the oven , and coffee on the stove. Everything is quiet except for the crackle in the oven and the hiss from the coffee pot. Guess who will be happy to join you  to breakfast when the eggs are boiled and bread is toasted?

Sun is shining on the other side of the lake

Restlessness and stimuli hunger

Then comes the reaction phase: You grab your phone. You check for SMS., mails Facebook, Twitter, calls. There are none! What the heck? Life stops, panic starts! You lag behind for several hours, soon for days! Your social Life is in peril. Friends may leave you, you are out of rating. Out of reach! No more likes to eat for lunch. Your hungry heart starve.

You run out of the cabin. Skies are mostly blue. What’s that familier sound? You look up. A small stripe of white condense has covered half the sky. That buzz is the daily plane from Philadelphia to Doha, Quatar. And wow here comes British Airways route from London to Tokyo. What a relief! Civilization has not yet left you totally!

BA Boeing 777 -300 from  London to Tokyo

You checked it last summer with your flight radar app. All the planes from the East of US and Canada to the middel east and Asia including Japan , fly over your cabin at an altitude of 32000-42000 ft.

Then you have to go to the water pump and pump 3 bucketfuls of water. When that is done you must walk back to the cabin and pour one bucket into the boiler and place the two other buckets under the sinks , with a water hose that    is attatched to a solar driven water pump.

A  primitive manual water pump

Solar driven water faucet pump
Out Skiing

Our first  crosscountry skiing this easter was thrilling and nice. We went to a mountaintop nearby. Here you can get a panorama view of 360 degrees.  Or just eat a chocolate or an orange. And take a photo or selfie to prove that you were there.

Not the world’s highest mountain, but surely a very nice place to rest and take a  good view at the world.

Downhill without the use of muscles more than to keep the balance and avoid falling.

And this was how we returned down to our cabin again. (The clips are very short and primitive as my text because here 1000 m above sea level there is no access to Internet except on my tiny phone  with  even  smaller keyboard letters. )

But thats just the point of it all! You need sometimes to be free from the tyranny of being always  available!

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The ones that did not join us to the top had taken out the easter chickens and continued at the breakfast table until lunchtime.

 

Have a nice Easter Holiday yourself

HOW TO GET A META PERSPECTIVE ON YOURSELF AND THE WORLD.